Steve’s Blog

You know, it used to be that a person could get away with spinning a yarn (not that I ever did), and it would stand as if it were unexaggerated truth.  I suppose up until the Google age, one could write novels of interesting “facts” and the reader would be enthralled.  And then came the age of verification of every little item, and now articles and books and statements are debunked.  Now even known facts such as may appear in Wikipedia are debunked.  Two great reads that became business school books were recently debunked, and one great diet book was recently debunked.  Who is one to believe?

Recently I saw a great quote by Tom Waits, so great that I used it in a lecture at a college to an entrepreneurial group.  Said he “Everything is explained now.  We live in an age when you say casually to somebody “what’s the story on that?”  And they can run to the computer and tell you within five seconds.  That’s fine, but sometimes I’d just as soon continue wondering.  We have a deficit of wonder right now.”

I loved that statement and looked around the room as students were at that very moment debunking my lecture.  I said to them that it would be wonderful if we could lay aside our electronic devices for a moment and not jump as Pavlov’s dog whenever something goes ding, or buzzes in our pocket.  Wouldn’t it be great to be free from distractions and facts while we have a chance to wonder?

One of the most profound moments in my life was the night of September 11, 2001.  When I walked out into the evening air, it was late at night.  No clouds, just stars.  No noises of aircraft, they had all been grounded, no blinking lights.  Just stars, the night, the crisp September air in Colorado, and the very frightful events of that day.

I wondered.   I wondered if our family would be OK.  I wondered if our country would be OK.  I wondered about a lot of things that night.  Though the airwaves were full of data, the emptied night sky (in terms of commercial activity) left me alone with my thoughts.  I took the time to say a prayer.  I listened to the silence.

I believe life is better when we can wonder.  I believe we enjoy more of life when there are longer periods between the question and the answer.  I believe we have more joy when we can look into a child’s eyes and wonder—and so see their wonder.
So here is a shout out to all who wish the factomaniacs would stop googling long enough to allow us a space for wonder.  It’s OK to be mostly right and allow the wonder to fill in the gaps as we live.  I know some reader will write to tell me how much more enjoyable life is with all of the facts before them.  I say that when I go around the corner of the unknown and my eyes feast upon the unanticipated joy as it unfolds—my wonder deepens, and my sense of being is all the better.

Our company has as one of its three cultural pillars the teachings of Jim Collins’ book Good to Great.  We have, for many years now, gone off-site for our Hedgehog meeting to face the brutal facts.  This process was once VERY painful, and is now just somewhat painful.  The painful part is to face the facts as our clients and associates see them, not just how WE see them.

For those new to our hedgehog meetings (we invite our principle leaders from all departments to attend), they become defensive and bristle when the brutal fact insinuates that something they are connected with is just not working as it should.  It is very interesting to see those mature in facing the brutal facts, who welcome the vigorous debate, actually invite the discussion while those new at it can’t wait for it to end.

We have other cultural studies that weave into this dynamic well, where we have learned to be transparent, trust others to treat our ideas with dignity and to debate in a healthy way.  Still the process can be challenging if you don’t keep the best perspective.  And what is the best perspective?  To understand that the process of change requires a change of heart, not just a mechanical change.  In other words, we must have buy-in from all to maximize the change we are seeking.

I have been writing a book in my spare time for the past year.  I hired two editors to take a look at the manuscript.  In the beginning, the changes they suggested were an affront to me.  I believed I had excellent writing skills.  I had to ask myself, “Why did I hire these editors?”  I did so to gain another perspective.  Over time, I have learned to swallow my pride.  I coined this phrase “Swallowing pride is a lot like eating crow, but it doesn’t have an after taste.”  In other words, when we decide to set aside our personal bias for a greater cause, then we really do move forward. 

In business and personal life, the process of change is the same.  It does require some pain to change.  It requires our willingness to admit that someone else has a better idea.  It requires faith that if we embark on the agreed upon consensus (consensus does not mean unanimous by the way), that regardless of our personal differences, IF we support the decision with a willing heart and mind, THEN the possibility of positive change will occur.

Think of is this way; there is nothing more constant than change.  Is there ever a better time to make more of what we are engaged in?  If we spend 17 hours awake, then we all have 1020 minutes to decide our path and take control of it.  Here’s to the fortitude to swallow our own pride and see the world differently.  To see things as they really are!

In the recent movie “We Bought a Zoo” directed and co-produced by my good friend, it re-tells a beautiful true story.  It is a story of love and adventure, of healing and taking chances.  The classic line that resonated with me when the question of “Why” was asked, the answer was “Why not?”

As an entrepreneur I have faced many who would question why, and perhaps on many occasions their questioning was well placed.  But I am a builder of hope.  I have a mindset that doesn’t question “Why?” when the inspiration comes.  Just do it is more of my mantra.  The phrase “Why not?” is a powerful facilitator, a measure of will, a test of character.

However, to have the will to say “Why not?” is not enough.  It is the beginning.  Follow this with some habits that will carry the day in spite of opposition, and you become successful in your journey.

A best friend created this quote as his meaning of success:

“Reduce to a habit, that which unsuccessful people are not willing to do.” -Steve Goldberg

Think about habits you can form:

• Arise early
• Exercise regularly
• Feed your soul every day
• Live within your means
• Write in your journal
• Expand your education and mind
• Take chances in life
• Exercise the mindset of “Why not?”
• And so on…

You don’t want to wake up when you are fifty without having taken some chances and forged ahead with this rallying cry.  There will be adventures that didn’t pan out the way you hoped; but there will always be lessons learned from the adventure.  Life lessons don’t come from sitting in the no-risk corner or on the side lines while the rest of the world is playing the game.

Let 2012 be the year you gird up your loins and have experiences in your family, work, and faith that accepts the challenge of new adventure and life lived! 

Why Not?!?!

Many of you have commented on the blogs featuring Old Red.  Well, this is perhaps the final installment regarding Old Red, although there may be a children’s book later on.

Old Red was introduced to you in October of 2009.  He (I’ve decided he’s a boy- mostly because girls don’t have plows) was born in 1948.  That’s getting a little long in the tooth for tractors, so early this year I decided to restore Old Red to his original condition.  A good friend of mine who is an expert mechanic introduced me to his friend Dick, a cowboy kind of man with a massive mustache and expert mechanical skill.  He said he could take on the project, and so began the journey of Old Red.

For our family, this project was more than just restoring an old tractor, it was more like sending a good friend off to rehab; knowing that emotional detachment would be felt, but hoping that the professionals could make him whole again.  Since the tractor isn’t too much older than I am, I was kind of hoping that the experience for Old Red might rub off on me (though I’m told I do look much younger than my age).

On the morning of December 9, 2011, as I was getting ready to leave for work, Ginger said I couldn’t go yet.  I was thinking, “Hot diggity, did the suit I was wearing have the desired effect?”  “No,” she said, “At 8:00 a.m. someone from our church was delivering a gift that I would not want to miss.”  Okay, everyone knows I love chocolate chip cookies and it is Christmas season, so I would wait a few minutes.  It’s now 8:15, and I’m running out of patience- a virtue I’m still working on- so I start pacing.  As I walk toward the front door, I see coming down the driveway, almost in stealth mode, a shining red tractor, accompanied by three burly gentlemen.   The tractor looked vaguely familiar, but could it be Old Red?

I burst out the door and with a smile on my face from ear to ear, went running toward it like the father of the prodigal son.  I’m sure any neighbor watching would have seen a grown man in a suit and Carhart coat heading toward Old Red looking like a ballet dancer doing swan jumps.  A visual they will soon want to forget.  It was indeed Old Red coming home.

It was mighty cold outside, but I didn’t care.  This 1948 tractor looked like it had just come off the show room floor.  In previous blogs you can see the process Old Red went through- he was stripped to the innards and put back together.  I admire those like Dick who can do this sort of work.  I gave him a manly hug and we kind of did a dance around the tractor in celebration.

After much fawning and drooling over Old Red, I started him up (electric start now restored), and backed it up the driveway.  I moved my car out of the garage because Old Red could no longer be out in the cold, and made the slow journey to the garage.  I had stared at the controls, all brightly painted, the new battery box, the newly painted plows, EVERYTHING had been restored to original and he ran like a top.  I had a strange sensation as I suddenly thought of my Dad- passed on now, but whose spirit I felt close.  I could sense a broad smile from him and a nod of acceptance and gratitude.

I spent the next hour just poking and admiring, smiling and being reflective at the same time.  This is a tractor of a hundred lessons; perhaps today the lesson is that it’s never too late to have a restoration, a renewal, and a brand new whack at life.

Long live Old Red!

I had just returned to an empty house from a business trip; my wife was still on her annual “sister’s trip” and would return the next evening.

I don’t do well alone, I occupy my time in productive ways, but I am lonely in a house with just me in it.  I was thinking good thoughts of my traveling wife, and in my mind, decided I might venture out of my comfort zone and express them when she returned.  My son knows I don’t do well alone, and he and his wife came over to brighten my evening.

It was the Sunday evening before Halloween, and my wife returned from the airport.  My 30 year old son had created a putting obstacle course which we were playing when she arrived.  We were on hole number 10 in the basement; Ginger then walked past the stairs as I was looking up- I was about to go up and welcome here home when my eye was drawn to a very bright red object upon her head.  I think I gazed in amazement for a long time without saying much.

I didn’t know how to react (obviously) so I laughed out loud and said “Is that part of your clown costume for Halloween?”  She stomped off to her to the bedroom.  I followed saying things like “What, did I say something wrong?” “Did you actually wear that on the plane?”  “It looks like a hat a pimp would wear.”  None of these statements broke any ice that had been formed from my initial response.

I stared at my son for relief and advice.  He was almost convulsing trying to not burst out laughing, yet he was smart enough not to.  I asked him if his opinion of the hat was different than mine.  He said that it was definitely weird and he also thought it might be a joke.  He also expressed amazement that I had ever gotten this woman to marry me- smooth talker that I am.

Turns out that she had purchased this on the sister’s trip and thought it was very fashionable and cool.  It probably is- but she has NEVER worn a hat before.  Since that day, the hat has remained high on a shelf in her closet.  She has not yet forgiven me for my hat comments, and I suspect it will take a while.  She has worn a different type of hat since, which I think is cute, but when I tell her so, she glares at me and says “Ya, right.”

I have pondered what lessons I should learn from this experience that I might pass on to anyone who may lack smoothness in opposite sex communications.

1. Don’t rush to judgments. Give every opportunity to listen and observe before offering an opinion.

2. Decide NOW to like what may seem absurd to you, especially if your wife wears it!!

3. Carry through on good thoughts, even if things like bright red hats are worn by the person you desire to pass on the good thoughts to.

4. Live with HOPE that the people you have offended might forgive quickly

It seems to me like the pace of time is speeding up, and I’m slowing down.  I remember my parents telling me how fast time was going by; and I remember telling my kids the same thing as they grew up, actually pleading with them to NOT grow up so fast.  But as youth, especially in the early years, a day seemed to last forever.

As recently, it seems, as a few years ago, there was more time for ad hock moments to change course in the day’s activities and do something spur of the moment.  Is it just me or are these moments harder to find, and even harder to steal?

I recently had the opportunity to spend a little time with our grandchildren.  I helped a granddaughter with her homework (I can still do 6 year old math) and I was able to sit and watch my youngest grandson eat an ear of corn.  I wasn’t going anywhere; we didn’t have to leave for the airport for a few hours, so my time was totally theirs and I enjoyed every minute of it. 

 This picture of my youngest grandson eating this ear of corn is what prompted this entry; his ability to enjoy the opportunity before him without being distracted.  He has very few teeth, but I’ve never seen anyone suck down an ear of corn more completely.  If he were 80 years old, toothless and homeless, he would not starve for lack of trying.

 This picture of my wife’s father was taken last year; he is retired and can enjoy the same focus on meaningful things that my grandson can.  It is the time between youth and retirement that we must improve upon.

This picture is of my youngest granddaughter who was tired, so decided while taking a shower to just take a nap-on the spot.  Don’t you love the spontaneity?

Oh the lessons children teach us.  To be as a little child in many aspects of our adult life would make us so much the better.  Here are some things  I learned from this trip:

1. When children are with family, NOTHING else matters.

2. Children are able to partake of the moment without distractions such as smart phones.

3. They are able to love unconditionally for the most part; they look past our foibles and accept us for who we are.

4. A child enjoys the simple pleasures of life and is not bothered by little things such as clean utensils. Nothing wrong with clean utensils, but you get the point. As my pioneer neighbor taught my wife and me “Don’t let the little things bother you”.

As we mature in life, we get so distracted with the many things we have burdened ourselves with, that we lack meaningful focus on opportunities that are passing before our eyes.  We better slow down and grab some of these moments.  Like our parents said before us and as we now say, time is speeding up and there is less of it!  I say we make the most of it!

I was recently getting my daughter set up at college, where my wife and I were assisting in finding an apartment.  For a Dad, it is a matter of safety and  the apartment needs to be clean, convenient, and affordable.

After comparing the available options, we decided upon a place, and felt good enough about it to put down a deposit.  So that evening we were driving back to our hotel, and Ginger turns to me and says “I’m thinking the other apartment might be better”.

Now for those of you who know me well, I have no trouble making a decision- though it may take some days to ponder.  Once I make a decision, it’s usually done.  Period.  So I respond in a tone I would later ask forgiveness of, “I can’t believe after spending an entire day on this, you would even question this decision.”  I set my jaw and got “that look” in my eye.  And then, a slightly elevated conversation ensued.  It went on for about 25 miles!

In this process, I discovered that it’s really okay to “Re-Think” decisions after they are made.  Full light and knowledge doesn’t come just once in a life time!  Occasionally, I am wrong- perhaps even more frequently than that- so a re-think should not be out of the question.

So what causes one to avoid the re-thinking process?  In my case it is 1) Time:  I don’t like to waste a second of time, so having to re-think is time consuming.  2) Pride:  I don’t like to be wrong, so to re-think suggests the first decision arrived at was not the best.  3) Stupidity:  I really don’t think I’m dumb, but not considering all available options, even after a decision is made, can be stupid.

And of course, being the “cultural guru” that I am, during the course of this process my wife reminded me of things such as transparency, healthy debate, and so forth.

Well, we let the original apartment go, and went with choice number two.  Turned out is did save a ton of money, put my daughter closer to the school, and provided a safe environment for her to abide.  Also turns out, my wife was right.

Suggestions from this experience include:1) Don’t “Set your jaw” to solid after a decision has been made.  2) Allow for options to unfold and don’t be defensive when they are suggested.  3) There is usually not just one idea or solution, there are good, better, and best ones.  4) Allow the opportunity to Re-Think, and enjoy the fruits of even better solutions.

Have you ever noticed that as we get older, regardless of our life circumstance, our lives become “busier,” and we seem to have less and less time to just sit in our happy chair and DREAM.  I am not casting a spirit of negativity here; it is just an observation, perhaps a longing for simpler days.

Some of the characteristic phrases we spew forth, to keep us positive in our thinking even though our hearts seem weary are:

● Life is pretty hectic, but it beats the alternative.

● I can’t complain, it wouldn’t be fair. (my personal line of choice)

● Doing great, but I’ll get better. (a good friend’s classic line)

We smile, ease out of that conversation as we think in our mind “my schedule sucks right now, I need to figure out a different approach to life.”

In the midst of this crazy life, my grandchildren came to Colorado to spend a month.  It was pure heaven to come downstairs one evening to see my youngest grandson, who is one year old, sitting in his high chair sucking on a corn cob, in oblivious nirvana.  On another day I saw my 6 year old granddaughter dress up like a beauty queen in a make believe outfit,  that to her,  represented a walk in Miss Universe.  On yet another day I witnessed my eight year old grandson driving the golf cart (illegally of course) as IF he knew what he was doing.  These are moments that time stood still.  They were reminders that if we choose, we can change the pace.

My grandchildren left to go home, and three weeks later, my perspective and pace were again at break neck speed with no grandchildren around to immediately change my perspective.  I looked at my wife and said, “Do you want to play hooky for a day?”  [Now I did play hooky in school, and it was really on the edge of the law for me, a rush of adrenalin for a day and a total victory if we didn't get caught.]  So,  as grown adults (with grandchildren), the thought of playing hooky from life for a day was a thrilling prospect.

Acting on this impulse, we called another couple and stole to the mountains for one whole day to fly fish, have a cooler lunch on a Wyoming road, fish and connect with the Great Creator, and allow our wives to actually use their entire word allotment for the day.  We only stopped a couple of times on the road to grab electronic e-mails and phone messages!  From 6:00 am to 10:00 that night, we escaped the routines that bind us down and freed our spirits.

I suggest we play hooky more often.  Remember in the movie “What About Bob” when Bob was told to take a vacation from his troubles?  That’s what I’m talking about, only for a day.  It is amazing how therapeutic this can be.

So whether we imagine being queen for a day, getting the last drop of juice out of the corn cob, or going fishing for a few hours- without planning much ahead, let’s take a little time to enjoy the wild side, and put a little spontaneous life back into our daily walk.  What could it hurt?