The word “Failure” is a little subjective; perhaps having a little different meaning to everyone; though any definition is still unseemly when contrasted with a word like “success”. To me failure simply means that we didn’t measure up to our original expectations. In school we expect to get good grades if we put in the effort; but sometimes our work doesn’t meet the expectation of the professor or class standards, and we fail. At work, we have expectations in regards to many metrics, and when we don’t measure up, to the degree we didn’t, we fail.

The reason I loved the message on the sweatshirt is that it clearly states that the option of failure is not in this young ladies vocabulary. Just the thought of this powerful statement tells me that regardless of the effort required, this IS the effort to be put forth so that failure is not an option. Though avoiding failure may not be the best reason for motivation (striving for excellence puts a more positive spin on it), yet its tone insinuates that unless we succeed in our quest, there are consequences that will bring dastardly results.

Benjamin Franklin, in his quest for perfection, found it daunting. He told a story relating to this that is worth pondering in our own quest to not consider failure an option:

“My faults vexed me so much that I made little progress and had such frequent lapses that I was almost read to give up the   attempt and content myself with a faulty character in that respect. Like the man who in buying an axe of a smith, desired to have the whole of its surface as bright as the edge, the smith consented to grind the man’s axe bright for him if he would turn the wheel. This he did while the smith pressed the broad face of the axe heavily on the stone which made the turning very fatiguing. The man stopped every now and then to see how much progress had been made and at length would take his axe as it was without further grinding. ‘No’, said the smith, ‘turn on, turn on, we shall have it bright by and by”. As yet it was only speckled.’ ‘Yes,’ said the man, but I think I liked a speckled axe best.’ And I believe this may be the case with many who, having for want of some such means as I employed, found the difficulty of obtaining good and breaking bad habits, had given up the struggle and concluded that a speckled axe was best after all.”

So we perhaps fail only when we give up. And while it is not an option (to fail), it is nonetheless only as avoidable as our efforts to thwart that failure.

It was too late to apply insecticides, so we chopped a lot of the field for cattle silage about two months before we would have normally taken the harvest. Had we been wise, we would have rotated the crop sooner and reduced the chance of this problem.

When most of the corn was harvested early, there stood one lone stock. Proud, and resolute.

I was struck by this survivor and thought deeply about the stand we must take in a world of shifting values. What happens in our corporate world when the only emphasis is the bottom line? How long before the workers are infected with an attitude of non-committal routines that simply accomplish the work before them while secretly dreaming much bigger? When do you sacrifice some profit to build a larger base of support even in times of uncertainty? What is it that motivates the rank and file? Is it squeezing the last ounce of profit from the machine? NOT if the last ounces of profit only go to benefit the top leaders, and don’t go to benefit the roots of the organization.

I believe the values behind the actions we take are most important. IF we take a stand, even though the masses want us to join the path of least resistance; we take the high ground and our values then create the opportunities wherein every member of the team buys in to the end. The result is long term success, happier environments in which we work and play, and a confidence that only comes from doing the right thing regardless of what the world would say.

1. Will my decision be the same regardless of the amount of money involved?

2. How will the associates I lead be happier because I thought of them and not just of myself?

3. If I make a promise, written or verbal, will I stand by it? Even if it is a little less profitable in the  short run?

4. If I am required to change course and it adversely affects some of the team, do I take a stand and  do everything in my power to minimize human suffering?

5. What do we do to inculcate the highest values, sharpen and apply them, and live them from day  to day?

I have seen first -hand the pain of selfish decisions. I have been on the receiving end of decisions that are short sighted and have caused me personal pain. The best advice I can give is to decide to live the values you know are right, regardless of what the world or our selfish voices say so we can avoid the costly mistakes of greed. I can attest from my farming experience it is not worth it. Be like the lone stalk of corn after the harvest……

TAKE A STAND

A good friend who is a CEO of a hospital group was talking about what qualities make for success, and I was struck about a truth he offered:

“It’s easier to make a nice person smart than it is to make a smart person nice”. —-Rulon Stacey-

He said in his health care realm, if a person works hard, strives to make their day as productive as possible, and are NICE, they will always have a job. He also observed that while not impossible, someone who is mean spirited (not nice), has difficulty over coming that character trait. In other words, being nice and not nice are probably learned patterns from childhood; more a part of the nature of that soul, therefore being difficult to change.

Upon hearing this, my good friend Roger who is an old movie buff, recalled a movie called Elwood Dowd, and he is quoted for this famous line:

“Years ago, my mother used to say to me, she’d say “In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant.” Well, for years I was smart… I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.”

Look it up on youtube for the real deal:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o98q4AufIl8&feature=related

I thought for a moment after this. There are those who try to lead through bombastic tactics; included often in their personality is fear, bullying, egotism, and a narcissistic nature. Following this type of leader is not by choice.

We also know leaders who are both nice and smart—a very winning combination. I feel sometimes the ones who think they are smart (and maybe they are), get a little proud and haughty. I’ve never had that luxury. Sometimes, folks who struggle with smarts can try to lead with fear or bullying to overshadow their stupidity.

One of the nicest people I ever met was a carpenter who was simply NICE. He wasn’t rich, though he was financially independent. He wasn’t well known, though those who knew Frank, knew they had a sincere friend in him. His genuine niceness made him a guy you wanted to be around, would do anything for, and wished the best for him.
In our quest to be effective leaders, putting all of the cool cultural pyramids aside, let’s focus on just being nice. It will win the day.

Among other humiliations, they were forced to wear a yellow tag that would indicate to the entire world their chosen faith. He was kicked out of school as the headmaster announced, “Jewish children are poisoning our learning atmosphere and can no longer attend school.” They were forced to turn in their automobiles. Any assistance was nearly impossible to find and the few brave souls who did help Jews were shown no mercy, if caught. It reached a point that the only way to survive was to break up as families and go into hiding, to basically vanish from the face of the earth.

As I read his story, I was struck deeply with astonishment at how human beings are capable of treating one another. I was shaken by the inhumanity of man to fellow man.

Fast forward to the 21st century; in our own world there are still atrocities taking place on a global scale. Injustices largely due to one sector of human beings assuming superiority over another. Much of this is going on in the name of religion. Ironic, isn’t it?

So, what can we do as individuals to turn the tide of events? How will we make our mark, or make a contribution to change the world? Can we make a difference?

The simple answer is to begin with YOU and to begin WHERE you are. In the book “The Anatomy of Peace,” by the Arbinger Institute, a dialogue ensues about prejudicial treatment. “As painful as it is to receive contempt from another, it is more debilitating by far to be filled with contempt for another…when I’m seeing resentfully and disdainfully, I condemn myself to living in a disdained, resented world”. Clearly, we can take control of how we treat others.

Seeing people as human beings and equals rather than objects that will benefit our own personal desires and hopes, will help us to understand the great truth that we are all humans living in a mortal experience and that we have an obligation to respect our family, associates, friends, and enemies with the same dignity and respect we hope to receive.

There is no comparison in our places of work or assemblies that can compare to the horrid treatment of the Jewish people in WWII. Such atrocities we pray are never repeated. However, knowing that the difference on a large scale begins with an individual (Adolf Hitler was the catalyst for the evil that was perpetuated by so many during that time) we can strive to contribute only to the positive treatment of each other at all times; owning the message of equality that our country states in its pledge of allegiance: “One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for ALL” (caps added).

In the epilogue of his book Mr. Zuiden writes, “We didn’t forget the past, but we did our best not to let it ruin our future.” Such is the start of a heart of peace, and the way we begin to make a difference in the world we all live in.

Recently I saw a great quote by Tom Waits, so great that I used it in a lecture at a college to an entrepreneurial group.  Said he “Everything is explained now.  We live in an age when you say casually to somebody “what’s the story on that?”  And they can run to the computer and tell you within five seconds.  That’s fine, but sometimes I’d just as soon continue wondering.  We have a deficit of wonder right now.”

I loved that statement and looked around the room as students were at that very moment debunking my lecture.  I said to them that it would be wonderful if we could lay aside our electronic devices for a moment and not jump as Pavlov’s dog whenever something goes ding, or buzzes in our pocket.  Wouldn’t it be great to be free from distractions and facts while we have a chance to wonder?

One of the most profound moments in my life was the night of September 11, 2001.  When I walked out into the evening air, it was late at night.  No clouds, just stars.  No noises of aircraft, they had all been grounded, no blinking lights.  Just stars, the night, the crisp September air in Colorado, and the very frightful events of that day.

I wondered.   I wondered if our family would be OK.  I wondered if our country would be OK.  I wondered about a lot of things that night.  Though the airwaves were full of data, the emptied night sky (in terms of commercial activity) left me alone with my thoughts.  I took the time to say a prayer.  I listened to the silence.

I believe life is better when we can wonder.  I believe we enjoy more of life when there are longer periods between the question and the answer.  I believe we have more joy when we can look into a child’s eyes and wonder—and so see their wonder.
So here is a shout out to all who wish the factomaniacs would stop googling long enough to allow us a space for wonder.  It’s OK to be mostly right and allow the wonder to fill in the gaps as we live.  I know some reader will write to tell me how much more enjoyable life is with all of the facts before them.  I say that when I go around the corner of the unknown and my eyes feast upon the unanticipated joy as it unfolds—my wonder deepens, and my sense of being is all the better.

Our company has as one of its three cultural pillars the teachings of Jim Collins’ book Good to Great.  We have, for many years now, gone off-site for our Hedgehog meeting to face the brutal facts.  This process was once VERY painful, and is now just somewhat painful.  The painful part is to face the facts as our clients and associates see them, not just how WE see them.

For those new to our hedgehog meetings (we invite our principle leaders from all departments to attend), they become defensive and bristle when the brutal fact insinuates that something they are connected with is just not working as it should.  It is very interesting to see those mature in facing the brutal facts, who welcome the vigorous debate, actually invite the discussion while those new at it can’t wait for it to end.

We have other cultural studies that weave into this dynamic well, where we have learned to be transparent, trust others to treat our ideas with dignity and to debate in a healthy way.  Still the process can be challenging if you don’t keep the best perspective.  And what is the best perspective?  To understand that the process of change requires a change of heart, not just a mechanical change.  In other words, we must have buy-in from all to maximize the change we are seeking.

I have been writing a book in my spare time for the past year.  I hired two editors to take a look at the manuscript.  In the beginning, the changes they suggested were an affront to me.  I believed I had excellent writing skills.  I had to ask myself, “Why did I hire these editors?”  I did so to gain another perspective.  Over time, I have learned to swallow my pride.  I coined this phrase “Swallowing pride is a lot like eating crow, but it doesn’t have an after taste.”  In other words, when we decide to set aside our personal bias for a greater cause, then we really do move forward. 

In business and personal life, the process of change is the same.  It does require some pain to change.  It requires our willingness to admit that someone else has a better idea.  It requires faith that if we embark on the agreed upon consensus (consensus does not mean unanimous by the way), that regardless of our personal differences, IF we support the decision with a willing heart and mind, THEN the possibility of positive change will occur.

Think of is this way; there is nothing more constant than change.  Is there ever a better time to make more of what we are engaged in?  If we spend 17 hours awake, then we all have 1020 minutes to decide our path and take control of it.  Here’s to the fortitude to swallow our own pride and see the world differently.  To see things as they really are!

As an entrepreneur I have faced many who would question why, and perhaps on many occasions their questioning was well placed.  But I am a builder of hope.  I have a mindset that doesn’t question “Why?” when the inspiration comes.  Just do it is more of my mantra.  The phrase “Why not?” is a powerful facilitator, a measure of will, a test of character.

However, to have the will to say “Why not?” is not enough.  It is the beginning.  Follow this with some habits that will carry the day in spite of opposition, and you become successful in your journey.

A best friend created this quote as his meaning of success:

“Reduce to a habit, that which unsuccessful people are not willing to do.” -Steve Goldberg

Think about habits you can form:

• Arise early
• Exercise regularly
• Feed your soul every day
• Live within your means
• Write in your journal
• Expand your education and mind
• Take chances in life
• Exercise the mindset of “Why not?”
• And so on…

You don’t want to wake up when you are fifty without having taken some chances and forged ahead with this rallying cry.  There will be adventures that didn’t pan out the way you hoped; but there will always be lessons learned from the adventure.  Life lessons don’t come from sitting in the no-risk corner or on the side lines while the rest of the world is playing the game.

Let 2012 be the year you gird up your loins and have experiences in your family, work, and faith that accepts the challenge of new adventure and life lived! 

Why Not?!?!

Old Red was introduced to you in October of 2009.  He (I’ve decided he’s a boy- mostly because girls don’t have plows) was born in 1948.  That’s getting a little long in the tooth for tractors, so early this year I decided to restore Old Red to his original condition.  A good friend of mine who is an expert mechanic introduced me to his friend Dick, a cowboy kind of man with a massive mustache and expert mechanical skill.  He said he could take on the project, and so began the journey of Old Red.

For our family, this project was more than just restoring an old tractor, it was more like sending a good friend off to rehab; knowing that emotional detachment would be felt, but hoping that the professionals could make him whole again.  Since the tractor isn’t too much older than I am, I was kind of hoping that the experience for Old Red might rub off on me (though I’m told I do look much younger than my age).

On the morning of December 9, 2011, as I was getting ready to leave for work, Ginger said I couldn’t go yet.  I was thinking, “Hot diggity, did the suit I was wearing have the desired effect?”  “No,” she said, “At 8:00 a.m. someone from our church was delivering a gift that I would not want to miss.”  Okay, everyone knows I love chocolate chip cookies and it is Christmas season, so I would wait a few minutes.  It’s now 8:15, and I’m running out of patience- a virtue I’m still working on- so I start pacing.  As I walk toward the front door, I see coming down the driveway, almost in stealth mode, a shining red tractor, accompanied by three burly gentlemen.   The tractor looked vaguely familiar, but could it be Old Red?

I burst out the door and with a smile on my face from ear to ear, went running toward it like the father of the prodigal son.  I’m sure any neighbor watching would have seen a grown man in a suit and Carhart coat heading toward Old Red looking like a ballet dancer doing swan jumps.  A visual they will soon want to forget.  It was indeed Old Red coming home.

It was mighty cold outside, but I didn’t care.  This 1948 tractor looked like it had just come off the show room floor.  In previous blogs you can see the process Old Red went through- he was stripped to the innards and put back together.  I admire those like Dick who can do this sort of work.  I gave him a manly hug and we kind of did a dance around the tractor in celebration.

After much fawning and drooling over Old Red, I started him up (electric start now restored), and backed it up the driveway.  I moved my car out of the garage because Old Red could no longer be out in the cold, and made the slow journey to the garage.  I had stared at the controls, all brightly painted, the new battery box, the newly painted plows, EVERYTHING had been restored to original and he ran like a top.  I had a strange sensation as I suddenly thought of my Dad- passed on now, but whose spirit I felt close.  I could sense a broad smile from him and a nod of acceptance and gratitude.

I spent the next hour just poking and admiring, smiling and being reflective at the same time.  This is a tractor of a hundred lessons; perhaps today the lesson is that it’s never too late to have a restoration, a renewal, and a brand new whack at life.

Long live Old Red!

I don’t do well alone, I occupy my time in productive ways, but I am lonely in a house with just me in it.  I was thinking good thoughts of my traveling wife, and in my mind, decided I might venture out of my comfort zone and express them when she returned.  My son knows I don’t do well alone, and he and his wife came over to brighten my evening.

It was the Sunday evening before Halloween, and my wife returned from the airport.  My 30 year old son had created a putting obstacle course which we were playing when she arrived.  We were on hole number 10 in the basement; Ginger then walked past the stairs as I was looking up- I was about to go up and welcome here home when my eye was drawn to a very bright red object upon her head.  I think I gazed in amazement for a long time without saying much.

I didn’t know how to react (obviously) so I laughed out loud and said “Is that part of your clown costume for Halloween?”  She stomped off to her to the bedroom.  I followed saying things like “What, did I say something wrong?” “Did you actually wear that on the plane?”  “It looks like a hat a pimp would wear.”  None of these statements broke any ice that had been formed from my initial response.

I stared at my son for relief and advice.  He was almost convulsing trying to not burst out laughing, yet he was smart enough not to.  I asked him if his opinion of the hat was different than mine.  He said that it was definitely weird and he also thought it might be a joke.  He also expressed amazement that I had ever gotten this woman to marry me- smooth talker that I am.

Turns out that she had purchased this on the sister’s trip and thought it was very fashionable and cool.  It probably is- but she has NEVER worn a hat before.  Since that day, the hat has remained high on a shelf in her closet.  She has not yet forgiven me for my hat comments, and I suspect it will take a while.  She has worn a different type of hat since, which I think is cute, but when I tell her so, she glares at me and says “Ya, right.”

I have pondered what lessons I should learn from this experience that I might pass on to anyone who may lack smoothness in opposite sex communications.

1. Don’t rush to judgments. Give every opportunity to listen and observe before offering an opinion.

2. Decide NOW to like what may seem absurd to you, especially if your wife wears it!!

3. Carry through on good thoughts, even if things like bright red hats are worn by the person you desire to pass on the good thoughts to.

4. Live with HOPE that the people you have offended might forgive quickly

I have come to the conclusion that much of the change we seek is an “external fix” when in reality we need an “internal fix” to make our change lasting and for the best.  Let me explain.  A spouse says they have fallen out of love with the other partner.  OK, but that usually doesn’t happen when we focus on others more than ourselves.  In other words, when the flames of the hot romance changed to making bottles of baby formula, the dynamics of the relationship changed, but the love did not have to.     Selfishness raised its ugly head and demanded more time and space, leading toward the path of exclusion.  Usually only one partner participates in this path while the other is left carrying the loads of life alone.  It doesn’t have to be this way. (I realize there are certainly situations where many sets of circumstances result in a split that is necessary- I’m not judging anyone who has gone through this, but simply use this as an example to make my point).

An internal fix would say “Mend it, don’t end it.”  Spend more time helping the other partner to succeed, to deal with life’s changes in a positive and sharing way, to “forget yourself, and go to work” so to speak.

Fortitude is required to invite the internal fix.  It does require looking inward for change.  Here are the amazing things that happen when we do this:

1. We grow exponentially when we focus on others and not ourselves.
2. Our world expands as more doors of opportunities open.
3. Our relationships become more meaningful and deeper.
4. Our time has more value and meaning.

As a reminder of these things, I made up a little poster I keep in front of my computer.  I’ve changed it a bit for publication, but it goes something like this:

My ROUTINES - Are they focused on results?  Have I established patterns of excellence that build character and are filled with integrity?

My TIME - Is it spent building others?  Listen with a heart and not ears, seek to understand and then build and serve.

My ASSOCIATIONS - Are they enlightening?  Don’t hang out with negative deadbeats, and don’t be one yourself.  If you are positive, chances are you are spending time with positive people.

My DESIRE (for success in life and in relationships) - Is it Constant?  Do I always strive to see the best in others?  Am I anxiously engaged in good causes?  Does my desire wane in the face of challenges, or does it increase as I direct the proper focus?

In all of life, this applies.  Let’s decide to be a person who makes a difference daily, in a positive and proactive way.  Let’s learn to be the type of person that people want to associate with.